So like i have said before i am pretty gay, it’s obvious and i’ve come to terms with that. I like who i am and im not going to hide my head in the sand like an ostrich every time someone makes me uncomfortable about it; i also don’t feel the need for violence either. It is true that there are times where you just have to take your pride and walk away, but there are times where you just go balls to the wall and you kick someones ass.
I myself have been through quite a bit: chased out of bars by a group of males for talking to a girl then when asked by these said males if i was interested in the girl and answering no, they decided i was gay (which i am…and have always wondered how they got so good at that game???) then proceeded to chase me to my car screaming very unfriendly things. I’ve been chased in my apartment complex for wearing pants someone thought looked gay, had a beer bottle thrown at me (with beer in it…CAN WE SAY PARTY FOUL!). And in those cases, i called the cops and let them handle it, (which meant standing around for 45mins why they did nothing and let the people walk off scott free…of course).
I didnt choose to fight because i was way smaller than the guys that were coming at me, it’s not that i don’t wanna stand up for myself, it’s because i feel that you need to pick and choose your battles and those were not the time to fight with violence, but with my words and with help from friends to spread what happen to me so that it would hopefully not happen again. I will however beat the shit out of someone if i feel that i am being threatened to the point that they might seriously hurt me, i just generally am not a violent person. With all that i have been through i try not to let it hinder me when i go out, it is however always on my mind and i do find myself trying to act a bit more straight in straight bars just so i’ll fit in (which i hate when i do but it’s almost involuntary and it freaks me out..legs all apart like im some cowboy or something!?) I like going out and having a few drinks with friends though and normally we do go to the predominatly straight bars just because we hate the gay one. And that’s when i turn into a queer john wayne and shit gets weird. I am trying to stop this and act more like myself because like i said before I am who i am and wouldn’t wanna be anyone else! (Although cowboys are pretty hot!)